Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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