I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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