Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
