why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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