it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
