I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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