Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
