The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
