i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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