you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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