did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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