The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
