I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Your dad touched me again.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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