I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
