my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
