Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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