How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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