I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
