is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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