babies were throwing up all over the place
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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