We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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