One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
