Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize