Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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