Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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