WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Small penises have feelings too.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
