New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
