Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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