The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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