You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
