I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
