I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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