Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
