Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
