Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
