I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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