On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
