1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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