Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Mom said you looked used
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
