end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
