Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
