My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
