he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
