we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
