whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
