I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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