Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize