I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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