It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
