i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
