I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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