I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
