Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
