New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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