Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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