You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
