I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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