Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
