you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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