What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
