I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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