I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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