Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??

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(207): View more from Maine

I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...

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(719): View more from Colorado

Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8

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(310): View more from California

A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you

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(714): View more from California

After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.

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(214): View more from Texas

Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed

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(505): View more from New Mexico

when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home

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