D3 body, D1 cock
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
