i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
