i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
