you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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